Hey all,
I don't really know if anyone reads my notes but I need to remember that it doesn't matter either way because I am proclaiming God in the way he made me…. I guess and if someone is benefiting and stealing my work... It doesn't matter in the end. God knows everything anyway.... moving on.
Class tonight has hard…. No not the subject or the things discussed... it was the spiritual attacks on life and how wrong people really are when they don't look at the big picture though Christ. It’s so sad, and heart breaking to see that people are so blinded by sin that they are missing so much. My heart hurts to see them blind without hope… and I feel so helpless to help… because I’m not even where I should be in Christ….
To give you an easy visual example of what I mean since I bet you are confused... Take driving for example. I love to drive and I do every day still… and did for over 2 years straight everyday for my last job. The one thing I find so amazing is how little people see... like Peds, Cars and even Semi’s! (It’s a huge list). It never seizes to amaze me how much people only care about themselves, having vision that is so narrow-minded and focus on only what is in front of them they miss everything else around them... like 270 degree of the sphere (in a 3D world or 2D which ever works for you....) The whole point is seeing though Christ eyes not only gives us the TRUTH... which is what we long for and are wired for... but it even gives us the advantage and hope to make it though anything no matter what it is…. To be able to see the wrong in what the world thinks is completely normal and right...... I really want to say give you an example from class tonight but until this class is over I have to use the (CODEWORD BOARDSTATSSIDEONE) for myself in order to write this at this time. It’s silly but you never know who reads you stuff…. just have to be careful and to be as much Christ like as I can… he CODEWORD is there to fill in the gap for myself. Ok formal stuff is over with… this is my point...
Christ gives us so much when we deserve nothing yet he still loves us and gives us more then we need. My class has been more of a spiritual battle then an English Class but either way I am learning so much. Maybe more then I want to learn spiritually right now but the point is my views, thoughts and feelings are being challenged… and tested… because God needs to know and I need to learn something…. What that is…. However… God is keeping from me probably for my own benefit. The extreme worldly views and this battle has been one that's been extremely hard to bear but just as rewarding as well. Every week has been heartbreaking.... and walking out of class with the anger because I know in my heart that the facts are wrong proves God’s anger towards people who have turned from him. It’s not anger at the people but at the views that are being presented that make God look stupid, wrong and self right.
Yes I know this would happen… but I was tested… In my case though I wasn't as prepared as I should have been but either way I have learned so much... and am happy to know I am stronger than I thought but know that I have much to learn. If anything its remaining spiritually healthy for the most part has made all of the difference...... more than I can even describe.
Its funny this week is "Holy Week" but it's kind of special because its Holy Week.... kind of makes no sense but you kind of get the idea (quotes are the big hint!). The idea of what Christ did on the cross is so powerful.... and how there is nothing that can we can do re pay the debt he gave us… and how he came to save us even when he didn’t need to is mind blowing. He gave up everything for us…. It’s just so amazing how he can break someone (like me for example to help) to follow him and then put the pieces back together better than they ever were blows my mind every time. This is what gets Easter a celebration… not just for me but to everyone who Believes in the Cross and aligns their life to this. Getting your life to follow Christ is the hard part! It’s easy to become a believer but hard to follow that teaching. It means you have to give up what you want most to Christ and God…. And we don’t like that… for it was control…. And you know you find you can leave without… but it’s hard! For me this excitement never goes away or ever gets old!
Even thought I hate my English class... I know now that God put me there not to just learn English and how to write college papers.... (well that to)... but to learn that the spiritual battle is bigger than we know and we are more powerful with Christ in us then we even know.... its learning how to us that… that takes a lifetime. The Hymn that comes to mind that describes life since I became a Christian and even this class experience is the Hymn that has the words... "for the things of Earth will grow strangely dim.... for the light of glory and Grace.... (something like that.... and I don't remember the hymn..... grrrr.... I should know this…. Now I feel bad… o well…)
The point in a nut shell or line…. The bigger picture is and has been the battle rather than the class itself.... Fully how God works…. He’s creative and always able to think of new ways to work… I never stop loving that!....
Just to let you know for you people who think I am all talk... I have an A in the class unfortunately… I know it sounds like an ego…. It’s just the truth. I have worked very hard for it but will admit I don't feel like I like the work to earn that grade has reflected my grade… Even though I’ve worked hard for it.... funny.... Praise the Lord and that best part is God gets the Glory for it and I can boast about it thought Christ.... NOT MYSELF.... how cool is that?
....on a side note…. I actually wanted to write about April fool’s day... which is tomorrow the same day as Maundy Thursday. Personally I think April Fools one of those holidays that really everyone loses in the end. Personally the Kitchen sprayer is not funny to me at all.... just to give you a perspective and example.... and since it falls on the same day as the night that Jesus was portrayed... (well this year anyway) I find it both fascinating as well as kind of scary to. If you really want to does an April fools joke then do it on something that everyone would laugh at…. Including the person who is being fooled and make sure they wouldn’t care either way. I guess since I care so much about people April fools only naturally seems like kind of a mean holiday…. I don’t know guess I’ll stop before the hole gets bigger. Just thought I would throw that out there. Well I better get back to work on my paper for school. Just didn't want to forget....
-Graham
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